one from hattrick.org forums (by the way, do ya know what Hattrick is? ):
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
It's Christmas time, and U2 have lined up a series of enormous charity gigs. They get together on the day of the first gig to soundcheck and Bono notices that The Edge is looking a bit peaky.
'What's the matter The Edge?' he says.
'Ah look it's nothing Bono' says the guitarist, 'It's just - you know that Japanese promotional tour we did last week, right? I think I picked up something, it might be some kind of flu, I'm feeling pretty bad.'
'Well, The Edge,' replies Bono, 'if you want to pull out of the gigs you just say so.'
Edge shakes his head. 'No, no, no way Bono. These gigs are important to me - I've got to think of the children, not my aching guts.'
'That's the spirit The Edge', says Bono, and so that night they take the stage. They play all the hits and the crowd are loving it. For a big climax, because it's for charity, they're going to perform 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', but as they get going on the song Edge suddenly feels very ill indeed, and he turns, drops his guitar and sprints towards the back of the stage. But he doesn't quite make it and he throws up, all over Larry Mullen Jr. and his drumkit.
'Jaysis The Edge!' yells Larry, 'Those are brand new drums! What the hell are you doing?'
Poor Edge is mortified. 'Aw Larry, I - I - I couldn't help myself, I'm so sorry, it's this flu.'
Bono calls a band meeting after the gig. 'The Edge, that was disgusting, I don't think you should be playing tomorrow night, you know, you're not well.'
'No, Bono, it won't happen again, honestly, I'm so sorry - and you know, the show must go on.'
So Bono agrees and when the gig kicks off the next night Edge is up there on stage, riffing away. The gig's going really well, no problems, but then as 'Do They Know It's Christmas' starts Edge begins to feel sick. He desperately tries to hold it down but it's no good, and makes a dash for the side of the stage, only getting as far as Adam Clayton, who he vomits over. Copiously.
'Me best leather waistcoat!' howls Adam Clayton, 'The Edge you're more beast than man!'
Edge is white as a sheet. 'Oh no, Adam, I'm sorry, I couldn't be more sorry.'
Bono is furious after the gig. 'The Edge you've gone too far this time, you've ruined another gig. I've just been on the phone to Sting, he can fill in tomorrow, you've got to rest up.'
Edge is almost in tears, 'Please Bono no, this gig means so much to me, I know I've got it all out my system now, I'll be great tomorrow I promise, you have to let me play.'
'OK The Edge one last chance, but if there's any more antics like the last two nights then that's it, the end, you're out of U2.'
The next day Edge takes lots of vitamins and he's feeling fine. The gig starts and it's amazing, the best U2 gig ever, even 'Discotheque' sounds alright. Bono's really pleased, Edge is happy. They start 'Do They Know It's Christmas' and Bono moves over to stand shoulder to shoulder with his buddy and realy belt the tune out. Suddenly Edge doesn't feel too good. His face is contorting, he's struggling like mad but it's no use - he turns to Bono with a look of desperation and suddenly hacks up an enormous greenie right in Bono's face.
The song stops. Edge is paralysed with horror - 'Bono I can explain, I'm truly sorry, you can't believe how sorry I am.'
Bono wipes the snot off, turns to Edge, and says
'Well, tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of spew.'
It's Christmas time, and U2 have lined up a series of enormous charity gigs. They get together on the day of the first gig to soundcheck and Bono notices that The Edge is looking a bit peaky.
'What's the matter The Edge?' he says.
'Ah look it's nothing Bono' says the guitarist, 'It's just - you know that Japanese promotional tour we did last week, right? I think I picked up something, it might be some kind of flu, I'm feeling pretty bad.'
'Well, The Edge,' replies Bono, 'if you want to pull out of the gigs you just say so.'
Edge shakes his head. 'No, no, no way Bono. These gigs are important to me - I've got to think of the children, not my aching guts.'
'That's the spirit The Edge', says Bono, and so that night they take the stage. They play all the hits and the crowd are loving it. For a big climax, because it's for charity, they're going to perform 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', but as they get going on the song Edge suddenly feels very ill indeed, and he turns, drops his guitar and sprints towards the back of the stage. But he doesn't quite make it and he throws up, all over Larry Mullen Jr. and his drumkit.
'Jaysis The Edge!' yells Larry, 'Those are brand new drums! What the hell are you doing?'
Poor Edge is mortified. 'Aw Larry, I - I - I couldn't help myself, I'm so sorry, it's this flu.'
Bono calls a band meeting after the gig. 'The Edge, that was disgusting, I don't think you should be playing tomorrow night, you know, you're not well.'
'No, Bono, it won't happen again, honestly, I'm so sorry - and you know, the show must go on.'
So Bono agrees and when the gig kicks off the next night Edge is up there on stage, riffing away. The gig's going really well, no problems, but then as 'Do They Know It's Christmas' starts Edge begins to feel sick. He desperately tries to hold it down but it's no good, and makes a dash for the side of the stage, only getting as far as Adam Clayton, who he vomits over. Copiously.
'Me best leather waistcoat!' howls Adam Clayton, 'The Edge you're more beast than man!'
Edge is white as a sheet. 'Oh no, Adam, I'm sorry, I couldn't be more sorry.'
Bono is furious after the gig. 'The Edge you've gone too far this time, you've ruined another gig. I've just been on the phone to Sting, he can fill in tomorrow, you've got to rest up.'
Edge is almost in tears, 'Please Bono no, this gig means so much to me, I know I've got it all out my system now, I'll be great tomorrow I promise, you have to let me play.'
'OK The Edge one last chance, but if there's any more antics like the last two nights then that's it, the end, you're out of U2.'
The next day Edge takes lots of vitamins and he's feeling fine. The gig starts and it's amazing, the best U2 gig ever, even 'Discotheque' sounds alright. Bono's really pleased, Edge is happy. They start 'Do They Know It's Christmas' and Bono moves over to stand shoulder to shoulder with his buddy and realy belt the tune out. Suddenly Edge doesn't feel too good. His face is contorting, he's struggling like mad but it's no use - he turns to Bono with a look of desperation and suddenly hacks up an enormous greenie right in Bono's face.
The song stops. Edge is paralysed with horror - 'Bono I can explain, I'm truly sorry, you can't believe how sorry I am.'
Bono wipes the snot off, turns to Edge, and says
'Well, tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of spew.'
huh, looks like I'm the only one here who find it funny , other people thought its funny, so I posted it here, sorry for freaking you out with that pic..
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, other people thought its funny, so I posted it here, sorry for freaking you out with that pic.. 
