Steve was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry.. She told him 'Tomorrow morning,
I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0
to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!'
The next morning Steve got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure
enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the
driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out
to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
I don't know if it has been posted yet, my Dad just sent it to me a few hours ago, and I have to share it with you all:
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering
an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
tell me your answers"
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"
"Sure," Forrest replied,
"it's Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. ?"I learnt it from the song, "ANDY
WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."
this is a little prayer which was included in the mail: Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And to pass it on to other folks.
I don't know if it has been posted yet, my Dad just sent it to me a few hours ago, and I have to share it with you all:
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering
an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
tell me your answers"
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"
"Sure," Forrest replied,
"it's Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. ?"I learnt it from the song, "ANDY
WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."
this is a little prayer which was included in the mail: Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And to pass it on to other folks.
Steve was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry.. She told him 'Tomorrow morning,
I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0
to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!'
The next morning Steve got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure
enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the
driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out
to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Steve was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry.. She told him 'Tomorrow morning,
I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0
to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!'
The next morning Steve got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure
enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the
driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out
to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
notable live performance According to user teaparty the song Fast Cars from the How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb album was greatly performed on 2005-10-08 in New York, New York.
news headlines We cover the news of many international U2 websites including U2.com, the most popular headline in the last two weeks was 'U2 is not enough to close Obama's TV deal' from atu2.com.
popular songs The song Where The Streets Have No Name is requested the most at our songs pages and therefore quite popular, according to the favorite song lists of our users the song Bad is the alltime favorite song.
fan of the month Every month we put an U2 fan in the spotlights, the fan of this month is user yeah. Every fan of the month has an interview with us, you can read our interview with yeah here.
high resolution photos We have 554 high resolution U2 photos available for you, the biggest photo collection you will find. The latest photo we've added is 'Edge showing how to play guitar'.
bootleg of the month Every month we have a bootleg in the spotlights, the current one took place on 1984-11-05 in Edinburgh, Scotland. You can download this bootleg, read reviews or write your own review here. You can also join the discussion on this bootleg in our forums.
latest site news There is a phrase in Dutch that says 'stilstand is achteruitgang', which means something like doing nothing is going backwards. Doing nothing is not an option here at U2start, we are U2 fans, and U2 fans are people w.. (read more)
new fan around us The most recent fan who registered is named ivbum, welcome to U2start ivbum! As a new user you can introduce yourself in the Welcome to U2start y'all forum.
did you know? The show with the most snippets is an Elevation show in Atlanta, Georgia, performed on March, 30, 2001. The show contains 17 snippets thanks to songs like Discotheque, Sunday Bloody Sunday and One.
statistics There are currently 4,447 topics started on the forums with over 174,469 messages.
More than 12,031 fans are a member of U2start. The average age of the U2start users is 28, only users who submitted their agae are included in this figure.
"The final mark of greatness, I think, is emptiness. That is true of music, painting, of anything. The less you can do it with, the more powerful you are."
- Bono
