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  1. Classic: why Bono fell on the stage? He was too close of The Edge...
  2. Originally posted by wtshnnfb01Heres the best one I have so far.
    What Do You call the Edges Black Stratocaster?
    An Strat Dubh.


    There's a member in U2start called like that I think , good joke
  3. Originally posted by theedge123Classic: why Bono fell on the stage? He was too close of The Edge...


    Hahaha! not bad!
  4. Originally posted by theedge123[..]

    There's a member in U2start called like that I think , good joke


    Yeh, there is :- anstratdubh1979

  5. What did they call they ovine tribute band?

    Ewe-2

    (C'mon, the topic requested bad jokes )
  6. Originally posted by redgavIt's Christmas time, and U2 have lined up a series of enormous charity gigs. They get together on the day of the first gig to soundcheck and Bono notices that The Edge is looking a bit peaky.
    'What's the matter The Edge?' he says.
    'Ah look it's nothing Bono' says the guitarist, 'It's just - you know that Japanese promotional tour we did last week, right? I think I picked up something, it might be some kind of flu, I'm feeling pretty bad.'
    'Well, The Edge,' replies Bono, 'if you want to pull out of the gigs you just say so.'
    Edge shakes his head. 'No, no, no way Bono. These gigs are important to me - I've got to think of the children, not my aching guts.'
    'That's the spirit The Edge', says Bono, and so that night they take the stage. They play all the hits and the crowd are loving it. For a big climax, because it's for charity, they're going to perform 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', but as they get going on the song Edge suddenly feels very ill indeed, and he turns, drops his guitar and sprints towards the back of the stage. But he doesn't quite make it and he throws up, all over Larry Mullen Jr. and his drumkit.
    'Jaysis The Edge!' yells Larry, 'Those are brand new drums! What the hell are you doing?'
    Poor Edge is mortified. 'Aw Larry, I - I - I couldn't help myself, I'm so sorry, it's this flu.'
    Bono calls a band meeting after the gig. 'The Edge, that was disgusting, I don't think you should be playing tomorrow night, you know, you're not well.'
    'No, Bono, it won't happen again, honestly, I'm so sorry - and you know, the show must go on.'
    So Bono agrees and when the gig kicks off the next night Edge is up there on stage, riffing away. The gig's going really well, no problems, but then as 'Do They Know It's Christmas' starts Edge begins to feel sick. He desperately tries to hold it down but it's no good, and makes a dash for the side of the stage, only getting as far as Adam Clayton, who he vomits over. Copiously.
    'Me best leather waistcoat!' howls Adam Clayton, 'The Edge you're more beast than man!'
    Edge is white as a sheet. 'Oh no, Adam, I'm sorry, I couldn't be more sorry.'
    Bono is furious after the gig. 'The Edge you've gone too far this time, you've ruined another gig. I've just been on the phone to Sting, he can fill in tomorrow, you've got to rest up.'
    Edge is almost in tears, 'Please Bono no, this gig means so much to me, I know I've got it all out my system now, I'll be great tomorrow I promise, you have to let me play.'
    'OK The Edge one last chance, but if there's any more antics like the last two nights then that's it, the end, you're out of U2.'
    The next day Edge takes lots of vitamins and he's feeling fine. The gig starts and it's amazing, the best U2 gig ever, even 'Discotheque' sounds alright. Bono's really pleased, Edge is happy. They start 'Do They Know It's Christmas' and Bono moves over to stand shoulder to shoulder with his buddy and realy belt the tune out. Suddenly Edge doesn't feel too good. His face is contorting, he's struggling like mad but it's no use - he turns to Bono with a look of desperation and suddenly hacks up an enormous greenie right in Bono's face.
    The song stops. Edge is paralysed with horror - 'Bono I can explain, I'm truly sorry, you can't believe how sorry I am.'
    Bono wipes the snot off, turns to Edge, and says
    'Well, tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of spew.'


    I love it!
  7. i dont know if this falls into the category here but you know the one campaign's slogan "make poverty history", a while ago on ebay some jackass was selling t-shirts with the phrase "make bono history" on them.
    still though, made me laugh.
  8. Originally posted by yeahBono is onstage clapping slowly and sonorously declaring.....
    'Every time I clap (pause) my hands (pause) a child dies in Africa.'
    At which point an unusually intelligent person in the audience shouts 'Well, stop f**king clapping, you idiot!!'
  9. Originally posted by theedge123Classic: why Bono fell on the stage? He was too close of The Edge...
    Hahahahahah xDD xDD xDD
  10. Remember hearing this a while ago

    Bono and Edge die and go to heaven
    there they meet God, God asks them what they believe in
    Edge goes first, saying he believes in their music, the band's abilities and above all the gibson guitar!
    God tells Edge that it's ok, and allows him into heaven..
    Next up Bono, 'and what do you believe in Bono?" God asks..
    Bono replies: "I believe......................................that you're sitting in my chair"
  11. This is the shirt with Make Bono History.
    http://www.wellcoolstuff.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/metoony13.jpg


    Some bad jokes...


    Q: If Edge was to do a strip, what song would he choose for it?
    A: You can leave your hat on


    A young Irish girl comes to town and goes to the priest.
    "Father I have sinned .. I made love with Adam from U2 who gave me a ride to town. ."
    "Daughter, say 10 prayers and you will be forgiven"
    "Father," she says, "I will say 20 prayers because I will drive back with Bono."


    How come U2 still hasn't found what they're looking for?
    Because the streets have no names.
  12. The band were having a crazy day in the studio. Larry, who had just gotten tired of all the fooling around said "That's it! You're all out of the band!" and stormed off. The next day the guys pleaded with him, and Larry said, "I let you back in if you can do one task for me. Go to the supermarket down the street, get three pieces of fruit apiece, and bring them back here for further instructions"

    And they were off. Edge comes back with 3 grapes. Larry says, "If you can put all 3 grapes in your butt while keeping a straight face, I will let you back in. If not, you're outta here for good."

    He starts to stick the grapes into his butt, but when he gets to the third one, he grimaces slightly. Larry cooly pointed at the door, and Edge walked off.

    Adam came back with three apples. With no small effort, he manages to get the first two in without slipping. But as he picks up the third one, he starts laughing hysterically.

    So Larry says, "You couldn't keep a straight face, so now you're out of the band for good. But I can't help but ask, why in the world were you laughing like that?"

    He says "Because I see Bono is coming back with three watermelons!"